Wednesday, January 30, 2008

So Much Smarter than Sliced Bread

You know those nights you get all dressed up?

The kind where your SO has actually found the time to get on Opentable and make a reservation? Or where you and your girlfriends are planning to be classy for an hour or so at dinner before getting raucous at the Park at 14th?

And you pull out your pretty clutch, stuff it with wallet, keys, Mace, three lipglosses, and a ponytail holder in case your hair falls flat and head to the dinner locale of choice.

And then you sit down and realize that there is no place to put said clutch.

You definitely don't want to put it on the floor. Yuck.

It kind of slides around on your lap and you have to keep touching it every time you reach for your napkin. Irritating.

My grandmother (from whom I have a gorgeous green pressed mock croc envelope clutch on permanent loan) told me that etiquette dictates that a woman put her purse on the table. But in reality, I think that's odd looking. And someone could spill.

Well, apparently, Alain Ducasse has solved that problem at his new spot in New York, Adour.

The chairs have little pull out shelves on which you can rest your bag!


It also gives you the chance to show off a particularly covetable bag.

Seriously, as long as the waiters don't start tripping over these things, this might be the greatest purse related discovery since those little hooks under the bar.

If only other restaurants would follow suit!

what? no one else carries Mace? Have you seen some of the guys at the Park? I'm just saying...

photo courtesy of

Monday, January 28, 2008

When Divine Intervention Attacks!

There are days when the stars align, the winds are blowing the right direction, the gods smile, and you find a pair of shoes that you loved in an ad six months ago, but didn't buy because they were too expensive, on sale for 70 percent off. In your size.

Last week I had one of those days.

The shoes in question?

The Cole Haan Dalya Mary Jane in black patent leather. With Nike Air technology.

The clouds seemed to open up and the heavens seemed to sing as I sashayed out of Bloomingdale's shopping bag in tow. It's pretty much as close as I get to a religious epiphany.

However, last Saturday, I had another religious experience. One where I was begging for divine intervention to stop the pain in my feet!

Now, as some of you may know, I'm a big fan of the suck-it-up-and-wear-the-shoes-God-made-pretty. But I'm always looking for ways to ease the pain, and Cole Haan's integration of sneaker technology from Nike into real shoes was intriguing.

When I first got the mary janes in question, I was thrilled with the bouncy cushioning and rubber soles on the shoes. I even bragged to a co-worker about how cool they were. Well, obviously hubris had consequences.

After a long night of dancing at a friend's birthday party, I found myself hobbling into my apartment in my pretty shoes, begging for someone, anyone, to take away the throbbing pain in my toes. Luckily, I passed out before finding the leftover Percocet in my bathroom cabinet.

The next morning, while staring contemptuously through a nasty hangover at my shoes, I noticed that a few of my toes had actually GONE NUMB. Like nerve damage numb. It's coming back now (thirty-six hours later!) but seriously!

Now, I'm a glutton for pain when it comes to looking pretty, so I fully plan on wearing the shoes again, but heed this! Don't go buying these shoes for the comfort factor. Just stock up on pain killers and anti-inflammatories.

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Hey, Isn't that...?

So I was perusing my new favorite bridal blog, Brooklyn Bride...

And by perusing, I mean spending hours combing through archives and clicking on vendor links instead of actually working.

And I stumbled on the link for the new Real Simple Weddings website.

Hey...isn't that Bree from America's Next Top Model???

photo courtesy of

Too Blue

On a recent, particularly low Friday (nothing crazy, just worn out from having to work a full week (!) after the holidays), I stopped by my friendly neighborhood Bobbi Brown counter for a pick me up.'s better than having a heroin addiction, ok?

The purported reason was to check out the Pink Raspberry Collection, a gorgeous new range of shades for spring. Bloggers everywhere have been raving about the blue-based pinks that are just pitch perfect for this coming spring.

When I got to the counter, I played by myself for a minute but then stopped and asked for directions.

When testing what I thought would be my ultimate purchase, the Lip Crayon in Pink Raspberry, it turned positively peachy on my skin.

Whoa, Nellie.

The makeup artist confirmed it. I was too blue based for these colors.

I can only assume she meant, because you are so frickfracking pale that I can see your veins you freak, in the nicest way possible.

The darker shade, Wild Raspberry was better, but the crayon texture was a little heavy looking for my tastes.

I did pick up the lip gloss in Pink Popsicle, which is a transparent shiny bubble-gummy pink, which did wonders for my eyes.

kind of like this one, but no glitter

Because I need another pink lip gloss like I need a third eyeball. But that wasn't the point.

I left the counter happier than I came, and isn't that the purpose of makeup?

photos courtesy of

Friday, January 18, 2008

Everything I Needed to Know, I Learned in Kindergarten

Like how to share.

Apparently, I now have to share my wedding date.

With HER.

Well, on the upside, I won't have the press hounding me on my wedding day!

Project Runway: En Garde

This episode opens with Rami playing the part of producer, starting awkward conversation with Christian while he beats his hair into submission with a flat iron. He asks, what do you think of Joey Faketone leaving?

To which Christian pricelessly replies, I don't care.


On to the challenge!

Heidi brings out models who have these horrific hairstyles which must inspire an avant-garde piece for the runway. They all chose and two more forgettable faces are sent packing.

Back in the workroom, Tim explains that they will be in teams of two, with one leader, and $300 dollars to spend on fabric. The teams are chosen "randomly" from the velvet bag of horror, and break down thusly:

Team Ferociousness: Christian and Chris

Team Police State: Rami and Sweet P

Team Whiny Pants: Victorya and Jillian

Team Send in the Clowns: Kit Pistol and Ricky

Christian and Chris get to work on a gown made of layered circles of rough edged fabric inspired by their model's enormous cinnabon hairstyle. Rami gets started on a Rami dress with draping and also begins to simultaneously ignore and abuse Sweet P.

Victorya and Jillian spend most of their time figuring out who will be the leader, ultimately flipping something to make the decision, which leads to this conversation:

V: Ok, so, I'm the leader. Are you comfortable with that?

J: Yeah, I'm ok with that. I mean, I guess I'm not ok with it, but I'm comfortable with it.


Despite "leader" issues, they sketch out a Mad-Max-meets-Vivianne-Westwood design of dramatic trench coat and pants.

Kit and Ricky (guess who the leader is there? the one who can brush her teeth without crying?) work on a design based on "nesting" since the hair is like a bird's nest. I want to say up front that I thought this could be interesting. Obviously, I was wrong.

They all begin to work and it becomes very clear that this is a doozy of a challenge. Things are being cut, thread is flying, Christian is mugging for the camera, Ricky is on the verge of tears. But, then Tim shows up and delivers the cortisol elevating news that they must design a ready to wear piece to go along with the avant garde-ish ensemble. The designers all look like are about to yak all over Tim.

Except for Ricky, who just spills out the tears that were at the ready.

They get to buy more fabric and strategize about the new look. This leads to multiple scenes involving Sweet P suggesting things and Rami shooting her down. One priceless comment is that he proclaims that navy is too evening for a ready to wear dress. Ummm, ok. Sooo, navy is not appropriate for daytime? Like satin slip dresses and french twists? Only after the coup which leads to a regime where all clothes must be flowy and grecian.

Furious sewing and stitching ensues on both garments, except for Team Whiny Pants where they only work on the avant garde piece and ignore the need for a second dress.

As Tim rolls around, it is becoming clear that Kit's design is shaping up to be more Little House on the Prairie than Dior Haute Couture. I die a little bit inside, since this pretty much ensures that Ricky will cry on the runway.

We also get to see Rami scream at Sweet P, question her ability to handle the simplest of tasks, micromanage, and generally be a dick in the name of his avant garde dress which looks remarkably like all the other dresses he made. This leads her to cry into the nonexistent bosom of a model. I've been there Sweet P, bosses can suck.

After one scene that looks like a model being born through Team FierceFierce's dress and another where Victorya and Jillian somehow have a dress that didn't appear to be sown by human hands, it's onto the runway!

Team Fierce is clearly the winner here with their absolutely stunning champagne layered dress. I could rave about this thing all day. It was elegant, interesting and unwearable, but inspiring for a ready to wear section. (I didn't happen to love the RTW piece, but let's face it, only Sweet P came up with something decent for that.) The thing about this piece that made it so special was that it didn't look amateur. It looked like something Galliano would send down a real runway.

Team Whiny Pants gets high praise for their exceedingly awesome trench in which their model thoroughly worked down the runway. I thought the pants looked a little more SS than Hampton's Polo Club, but whatevs, maybe that contributed to the look. I thought their RTW piece stunk. It was so very Express. And I wanted to scream at the judges, they don't deserve to win! They made that at the last second! But overall, I think the avant garde piece earned its accolades.

Team Rami got the comeuppance it so deserved. The judges laid into Rami for sending them the same crap on a different day. They assaulted him for the superfluous pants. And they said he was being mean to Sweet P. (Hey...what the hell happened to Mean P? I was promised an evil alter-ego, dammit!) They did, however, like Sweet P's flowy minidress.

And then there were two. Poor Kit Pistol was standing next to Ricky the spineless wonder to defend her hoop skirted dress and calico shift.

I have one important thing to bring up. The judges went on and on about how it felt old fashioned, and they wanted to be taken into the future with this challenge. I'm not disputing that Kit's dress looked a little 19th century in a literal way, but I do think that historical references can be avant garde. Remember all that Marie Antoinette mania? Remember how an entire issue of Vogue was dedicated to looking like an antebellum France on crack? I think, when done properly at the right time, use of an anachronistic look can be very avant garde. Unfortunately, it fell flat here.

Which left Kit holding the bag. Clearly Ricky wasn't getting tossed here because he simply had no input and Kit didn't throw him under the bus. Well, Kit took the boot gracefully. We'll miss you and your bleached hair! Give our love to Orange County!

Comme toujours...Blogging Project Runway, c'est magnifique!

The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Things


Under no circumstances.

Should ANYONE.


Wear a shirt.

That says:

"I'm cute in the front and sexy in the back"



Wednesday, January 16, 2008

To Toe or Not To Toe

I've found myself in a recently quandry which I never thought that I would be in.

As readers of my rambling rants about my pet peeves may know, I'm not a huge fan of visible feet in inappropriate situations.

I don't wear strappy sandals in the office, even on the hottest days of the year,

I think seeing toes after Veteran's Day is abominable,

In church, I think God should be looking at your pious face, not your chipped pedicure,

I don't wear peep toes to bars for fear of being stepped on.

Basically, I have a lot of rules regarding revealing footwear. But I didn't really think twice about wanting to wear open toed shoes on my wedding day.

I had even picked a front runner in the Great Wedding Shoe Hunt:

Until my mother heard from a friend who heard from another friend who heard from someone at Kleinfeld's, the bridal mecca, that you simply do NOT wear open toed shoes as the sight of toes will just destroy everything you have worked so hard to do to plan the perfect wedding.

(Actually, I think there was something about it destroying the "line" of the dress and that everyone will just be staring at your toes)

When my mother relayed this information, I brushed it off, saying that I had seen that horrible show about Kleinfeld's and I was not about to take their advice.

Then she called me at work today and told me that a salesperson at a shoe store, which has earned my utmost respect and admiration, also expressed shock that I would wear open toed shoes to become a wife.

Am I missing something here?

I'm getting married in springtime.

I won't be in a church or other such religious establishment.

I promise to have a pretty pedicure.

Is it wrong to wear open toed shoes?

photo courtesy of

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Project Runway: What a Girl Wants

Ok, I'm dispensing with the previouslies recap because I want to get down to the challenge, which, in my opinion, was AWESOME.

Design a prom dress for a seventeen year old Catholic school senior, with her help!

It smacks of the original season's "model's wedding dress challenge" which was one of my favorite episodes. These challenges pit designers against their models, who are no longer just clothes hangers but involve a level of fantasy for the client and license to give their opinion in all it's tacky bedazzled glory.

Hell, I still have dreams about my prom dress.

It rocked, fyi.

So, not only did the girls get to have input, they got to pick which designer they wanted to make the dress of their dreams. Well, except Victorya's client who admitted right off the bat that they were both the last ones standing. Apparently Catholic school doesn't teach these chicks the art of tactful lying. Well, it is in New Jersey.

Speaking of the Garden State, Joey Faketone blabs to the camera about his roots in Jersey. Like no one saw that coming. The prom pic of the fake tan and the mushroom haircut was priceless though.

We also got a glimpse into the past "straight" life of Ricky, where his mom made all of his clothes, he couldn't be creative, and he made his prom date's dress. And it was a GIRL! And he cries. Seriously, every episode I just count the minutes until Ricky turns on the waterworks. I wonder if he has a medical condition? Overactive lacrimealia? Or maybe it's the HRT.

Christian wins the "crazy difficult client" contest, walking away with two days full of torture and angst filled work hours! Maddie storms in like the monster in Cloverfield, and grabs Christian's pencil, announcing that she is a designer too!

Puh-lease! She requests a hot mess of lace and diamonds and tulle while Christian's soul begins to visibly weep. I would say he deserves it for being such an ass-clown for the past million episodes, but this kid is over the top. My stony exterior begins to crack as real emotions are felt for the first time.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Sweet P is wrangling a girl with too many hormones and an appetite for hootchie. The client basically requested a white version of the infamous J-Lo Grammy dress, meaning two hankies and string. Sweet P does an excellent job of listening and then scaling back on the whore factor by about 47%.

The sight of the tattooed, pierced, former naughty Catholic schoolgirl worrying about what this dress would lead to on prom night (namely, whatever she did) is too cute. Also, who's the hot surfer dude from the prom photo? I'm impressed, P!

As the sewing continues, we realize that Joey Faketone is in trouble due to his abject refusal to hem the dress, despite being told by the entire universe that he will get his ass handed to him by Nina for it. Also, Victorya says screw her client, she's making a bubble dress and no one will tell her not to. Oh, and Christian has descended into the 8th circle of hell. Dante didn't have the imagination to come up with a chick like this.

The moms also visit for the fittings and say all the things my mom would say!

Doesn't that waist make you look pregnant?

Isn't it a little too short?

I'm just concerned that color isn't for you.

Well, maybe the waist just makes you look fat, not pregnant.

On to the runway!

Just as an aside, it's always fun to watch real teenagers totter around in heels as opposed to the hormone fed crazy sophisticated starlets and models that the media force-feeds us. It's so innocent looking.

On the runway, Kit, Chris, and Jillian get a pass. I liked all three dresses, although my fiance made retching noises at Chris's and I thought Jillian's "model" needed a better bra.

Wow, now I sound like my mother.

Pulled out for further scrutiny:

Christian, who tried to blame Maddie, who in turn played dumb and looked offended, even though that chocolate brown and black lace was a total fiasco of pleating and ruffles and evil.

Rami, although immune from elimination, who made a signature dress in a chartreuse green. I didn't think it looked bad per se, and not even that old (although compared to these girls I'm like Angela Lansbury over here) but Michael Kors delivered the "matronly" kiss of death.

Ricky, weepy as always, gets hammered for his wispy baby pink bubble dress that washes the girl out and looks crooked. I did like the idea of covering the jewels with the tulle though.

OK. That is IT! I cannot take any more bubble hems! IT'S CRAP! STOP THE MADNESS!

And Joey Faketone just gets the absolute hammer of ire from the judges. They called his red babydoll halter dress cheap looking. They said that it made the model look like an old hooker, basically. And his hem was poo. I knew right then that we would be saying bye, bye, bye to Joey.

Oh, man. I couldn't help myself. I'm sorry.

On the winning end, I think the judges made the wrong choice. AGAIN.

They picked Victorya's bright blue bedazzled collar dress over Sweet P's elegant but sexy satin Jean Harlow gown? Give me a break! That jeweled neckline looked like a disco ball that my friend had in college. In the NINETIES!!!
Sweet P's girl looked like a million bucks. And not like anyone was going to pay her a million bucks, if you know what I mean. I think Sweet P did an exemplary job of negotiating the client's wants and her own morality and ended up with a beautiful result.

But, as Tim says, "Chacun son gout."

True that. True that.

Check out Blogging Project Runway if you know what's good for you!

Wednesday, January 09, 2008


When I woke up on January 1, 2008, my first thought was more along the lines of "Wow, my head hurts" as opposed to "This is the year I'm getting married!"

But both are true.

While in the past months of planning I have been called "the most laid back bride EVER" by a friend (sweet of her, but LIAR!), the impending reality of my upcoming wedding has finally set in (nightmares and all) and so, as an outlet for my mania, I'm starting a section of my blog devoted to bridal beauty.

My shrink says it's a good idea. Just kidding. But maybe not.

For those of you for whom weddings and cupids and tieback chairs induce dry heaving, I promise to keep this light and not let it take over the whole blog. In other words, I won't be Blogzilla.

Man, I just crack myself up!

A recent comment on my holiday party post sparked my interest:

I just got engaged and want to know what beauty and maintenance routines I need to pick up. I am fairly low maintenance, but don't mind splurging a bit to make sure I look good for the big day. Any advice?

Hmm, when I got engaged, all these people wanted to take us out for dinner, and I promptly gained 5 pounds. This is NOT a routine I suggest picking up. Yeah, still trying to work that off by the way...

Anyways, if you are pretty low maintenance, I would definitely stay that way. It's a good way to be. At the risk of sounding like Queer Eye or something, I would suggest the one thing to be high maintenance about is your skin. It's a cliche for a reason, if your skin looks great, everything else is pretty easy.

If you are anything like me, stress can induce massive breakouts. Seriously, finals week in law school, it was like a bomb went off on my face. And I've been told you will be stressed. Unless you happen to have easy access to a years supply of Xanax....yummy.

So, I say, start a routine now. If you are not troubled by skin issues, just find a cleansing/lotion routine that works for you. Most dermatologists swear by Cetaphil, and hell, it's like six bucks in the drugstore so it can't hurt to try.

Lots of folks (especially on TV, and I always believe what I hear on TV) swear by ProActiv. I can't vouch for it myself though.

If you have more issues, this could be an opportune time to schedule a visit with a derm in your area and get started on a more intense routine. An MD can get you started on retinols, oral contraceptives, or just tell you that your skin would be great if you just stopped falling asleep with your makeup on every night and you are insane and a little bit of a hypochondriac. Not that this ever happened to me or anything. Your health insurance may even pick up the tab...

(Also! Schedule a full body mole check while you are going there! I have heard WAY to many stories recently about women with melanomas and basal cells. Ok, I'll stop with the preachy 'tude.)

For me, I've been using the Kiehl's Washable Cleansing Milk for my dry skin at morning and night, then an application of their Ultra Facial Cream in the morning.

This is what my bathroom counter looks like, but with dried up toothpaste nearby.

At night, I've been plowing through samples of their brand new Over-Night Biological Peel. It makes my skin feel like an infant's ass, without the harsh scrubbies of an exfoliant. It also, despite not actually being a moisturizer, doesn't leave my skin dry in the least.

I don't know what's in it, but I dig it.

So, in summation, I would recommend that you head to your drugstore, your local internets, or dermatologist and get cracking on making your face look great for the day of.

More to come on my thoughts about fondant, matching your eyeshadow to the groomsmens' vests, and shellacked updos! Here's a sneak peek..."Yuck!"

So, any bridal topics anyone else wants covered?

photos courtesy of

Monday, January 07, 2008

Can I Get an UGH?

Things I'm Soooo Over:

(in no particular order)

Bottle service

Footless tights/leggings (die, die!)

Uggs...I mean SERIOUSLY. Seriously. C'mon, please?

Tory Burch Reva Flats (in every color, every style and on every person)

Side ponytails.

People who think it's funny to refer to last week as "last year" in the first week of January

The word "pollster"

Men at bars who sip drinks through the drink stirrer. As a matter of a fact, make that anyone who does that.

Ok, I think that's enough bile for one day.

Friday, January 04, 2008

Out with the Old

Ahhh, a new year has begun.

And while there are some things from last year that are truly inescapable, like the constant barrage of election coverage or Britney's looney toon ways, there are ways to try to make 2008 more tolerable than 2007.

In that spirit, I took my annual holiday Sephora gift card (people love me! They really love me!) and went on a replacement spree!

First into the bag, a brand spanking new Shu Uemura eyelash curler. If you don't have one of these...well, just get one. It's like that Mercedes SLK 600 that you see with diplomatic plates. It's the best of the best, but you can actually afford this one and it won't run you over at a stop sign because its owner has immunity.

Unfortunately, it doesn't last forever. The spring wears out after a couple of years, and even if you are good about cleaning, it will get pretty gunked up. I'm currently on my third in a lifetime, and let me tell you, that first curl with the new's like a cupcake with no calories.

Also dropped into my sack was a new pair of Tweezerman tweezers. Mine mysteriously disappeared when I shacked with with my now-fiance. I got them in hot pink this time so he can't touch them. It's like kryptonite for dudes.

Then I did a little searching for a replacement for my beloved Trish McEvoy Brow Gel. I can't seem to find it and mine was taking on a little funky smell. I eventually settled on Benefit Speed Brow in Light, for my barely there eyebrows. I've been pleased. It's a little crunchier feeling, but the color is subtle and natural and it keeps my eyebrows looking neat, despite one missing set o' tweezers.

It always feels good to sweep the old out the door and usher in a new year, new brow gel, new curler, etc. Anything you are replacing during this time of change?

Oh, and in case inquiring minds need to resolution for this year?

Floss more.

Thursday, January 03, 2008

Project Runway: Eye Candy

Ok, I'm really not so happy with Bravo right now.

They let us all rant and rave on and on about how batshit crazy Elisa is and how is is from another planet and just oh so freaky and then she drops the bomb that she had been hit by a car. And suffered a MASSIVE HEAD INJURY.

Salient details, no?

Well, I just feel awful.

I mean, whether the brain damage is organic or caused by a car moving on the wrong side of the road, she's still nutso, but guilt is deeply entrenched now.

But, to get to that point, we must start at the very beginning.

The designers wake up and talk about the challenges thus far. So hard! No roommates left!! Christian's hair is so frizzy pre-gel!!!

They get to the runway and are allowed to choose all new models! Such excitement, except that no one wants Rami's blonde zaftig girl. Or the other girl that I thought was cute. Ricky cries.

Heidi (looking uber-vampy) tells them that there will be a field trip, so put two juice boxes in the freezer tonight kids! Unfortunately, this will start at the ass-crack of dawn, so Tim gets to see everyone's PJs, morning breath and nipples.

The reason for the pre-sunrise trip is immediately apparent when they get to Times Square at the only time of day when the crowds of tourists headed to the Olive Garden have thinned.

No breadsticks for these guys! They are going to the Hershey store! Which apparently is different from the M&M factory? God, I hate Times Square. They have five minutes to grab whatever they can carry and make a garment out of it.

Back in the workroom, I suddenly feel the need to run to CVS for candy as I watch the designers stuff their faces with chocolate and candy in the early morning. (I'm not saying I haven't done it too, but I'm not proud of it)

Jillian, in AWWWL of her accented idiocy, chose Twizzlers to fabricate her dress. While they are truly like plastic, those things do not mold well, and she spends AWWWL of her time struggling with her garment.

Christian, in a total recap of the very first PR episode where Marco takes a shower curtain and makes a dress in twenty minutes, unwraps a gagillion Reese's cups, tacks them on to a halter dress form, and declares himself the winner. He goes on to annoy every single person in the workroom separately.

Sweet P started one dress with a tile mosiac belty thing and a skirt made from Care Bear hides, but trashed it to make what Tim describes as resembling maxi-pad. At which point water came shooting out my nose.

When they finally get to the runway, the looks are debuted.

Joey Faketone showed the most wearable outfit, a pencil skirt, bolero, and silver bustier. Kit's label hommage was fine, but a little obvious and a whole lot of label. Methinks short skirts work best for candy wrappers.

Ricky, weeping at the sound of wrappers falling to the floor, made a cute little bubble dress that was so reminiscent of an actual Hershey's Kiss, I think they should dress their theme park workers in it from now on. Christian's halter dress also escaped closer scrutiny.

Called back on to the runway are Elisa, Jillian, Chris, Rami, Sweet P, and Victorya.

Chris receives high praise for his Stephen Sprouse (who you may all remember for the graffiti Louis Vuitton bags circa 2001) Hershey dress. Honestly, I'm kind of shocked he didn't win, I thought the dress was awesome. It was so not costumey but embraced the point of the challenge, but it was not to be. But our little dumpling gets to sew another day!

The judges just fawned over Jillian and her Twizzled armour creation. Personally, I wasn't a superfan, but that may have been because her voice sounds like nails on the chalkboard to me and I swear to God, suspenders must die. But, I will grudgingly admit that it was not half bad. She must have been the runner-up too, because she received the "Christian-crestfallen-I-didn't-win??" shot of the week.

Rami, who ended up being the winner, made a very technicolor Barbarella outfit. It was shiny and busy and oh my! The model really worked it, despite the fact that it could have burst into flames or fallen apart at any moment. Rami is clearly becoming the critic's darling early in the show. Be beware, Icarus!! Don't send the paper dress too close to the sun!

You know who the judges didn't like? Victorya. They called her out on her "it's wearable! I would wear it!" BS, and for the fact that she made her model walk like a constipated ballerina on Quaaludes.

Oh, also, Sweet P took a lashing for her dull dull strapless dress. I thought for sure the "boooorrrrriiiiinnnnggg" from MK would be the kiss of death, but I must have forgotten that the producers already told us Elisa's sob story, and therefore she must go.

Elisa, apparently using her daughter as inspiration, made some sort of sad little brown dress with silver swimmies. I mean, I'm all for silver swimmies. Better than the nasty orange they usually come in. But really? That dress looked like a little brown towel wrapped around her model. There was nothing whimsical, fashionable, fun, or pretty about it. Goodbye, rainbow goddess woman and your loogies!

Also, what was that you said to Heidi? Was that Sanskrit for "I will slit your throat at the reunion show?" Or was it just a lingering Broca's issue from the car accident? Just checking....

Some other nota benes on this episode:

Who in hell needs a chocolate bar that big? Sure, blame the Farm Bill for obesity in America, whatever.

No matter what that chick from Hershey's says, the sweetest place in New York isn't that store. It's the Barney's shoe floor the first day of a sale 10 minutes before the store actually opens.

Was Vincent from last season also in a coma before the show? That would have explained a lot.

No one wanted to evoke Willy Wonka in this episode?? I find that hard to believe. Or maybe they were prohibited by contract since Wonka is actually Nestles.

Check out Blogging Project Runway for all the scoop and the always genius Tim's Take, in particular his descriptions of Christian this episode. Let's just say I agree, he's not exactly the Louis Pasteur he thinks he is.